Saturday, November 05, 2011

Parvez Musharraf's Resume

One Time CEO cum President cum General Mr Parvez Musharraf now in the role of a Fugitive was feeling restless. His Studio hopping in London was causing more rancor than anything else. Being Unemployed was a very painful existence for a one time ALL-IN-One, the Omnipotent, Omnipresent and Omniscient of Pakistan.
Feeling low and Bored Mr. Mush started looking up Job Options. The first stop in this search was ofcourse News papers. Sadly these being days of Recession in West, there were more News of “Lay Off”s vis-à-vis Job Placements. Feeling dejected he started surfing his own mobile contact list. Hoping there could be some one, just some one there, who could help him for OLD time sake. Knowing fully well that return to Pakistan was fraught with Major Risk, he had to look up his Foreign Contacts.
While surfing the Contact List he suddenly saw a ray of hope in the name of Mr. Man Mohan Singh.He did have his personal cell number. Man Mohan Singh while visiting Pakistan had given him his cell number and assured him of all necessary assistance anytime.
Instinctively he called MMS immediately to ward off the impending gloom. The cell rang and was picked up by a very sleepy MMS.
Parvez: Salam Valekum Janab
MMS: Valekum Salam. (MMS perceived ,Must be some emissary of madam, who else but Madam’s emissary could call me at Midnight. Salam Valekum meant it must be Ahmed Patel).Hi Ahmed Sirji, Is Madam all right. It is past Mid Night there must be something urgent, please tell me.
Parvez: Man Mohan Singhji, CHILL please. This is Parvez Musharraf and not Ahmed Patel this side. It is bare evening now and not midnight that I have called you. Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhh I am extremely sorry Mr MMS, I did not take into cognizance of the time difference between Delhi and London. However should I call you later, or could I speak now.
MMS in a whisper: Oh Mr Parvez Musharraf , you have given me several sleepless nights from Pakistan and now you have broken my sleep from London. Now once awake, Pray tell me what could I do for you. Please speak in low tone I do not want the whole house hold to get up.
Parvez: Sardarji (trying to be extra friendly) I know you are referring to the Mumbai train blasts in your innuendo of Sleepless nights,Please let Be Gones be By Gones. I need your help. India traditionally has accepted all refugees or displaced people beginning from Parsis in Eighth Century. Now I desire to migrate to India and take up a job there. I am unable to land a job in UK due to recession and as Indian Finance Minister and you too have said that India did not have much impact of recession. So please help me in my endeavor. Besides I do have a place of residence in Delhi. So I would not claim House Rent Allowance too.
MMS: What sort of assignment do you have in mind. If we had a mirror image of ISI,in our nation,you could had been of some use to us and you could had rendered us your services. What can you function as, in a Democracy .
Parvez: See I was an Army Chief for about a decade in Pakistan.India too has a FOUR Star general as the Chief of Armed Forces.Your current COAS General V K Singh is embroiled in the Date of Birth Controversy. In all probability he may feel too embarrassed to carryon and may soon resign. I can take up the said assignment. I did have considerable experience of being an Army General.
MMS: No Mr Mush.Your record of becoming Head of State from being an Army General is very damaging. With such a resume, it will be difficult to get you accepted as COAS.
Parvez Mush: Ok I do realize in India it is not viewed favorably.I do have the experience of being the President of a nation for a decade.Your Prez is also due to retire shortly. Give me asylum now and you would have proper Trained incumbent for your Next President. Just taking salute from your army officers in Republic Day parade would be a great high. I would forego my one months salary for the said KICK.
MMS : Well we can think of it.Yet we shall need our Coalition Partners consent to give you an assurance on it.However I can promise that I would sign your Nomination form and would appeal to every one’s conscience to caste their Vote in your favour. After all President in India is merely a rubber stamp, so it hardly matters who dwells in Rashtrapati Bhawan.
Parvez: I am an excellent sales man too. I set up an excellent distribution Net Work for marketing Nuclear Weapon Technology. My Washington bosses also could not know of it for quite some time.India too has Nuclear Capability.I can set up a Distribution network for you too.
At this note MMS cell’s Battery ran out. Before PM i.e.Parvez Musharraf could get his Indian Visa the destiny intervened.

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